Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
