Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
God I need to hump something, right now.
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