You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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