What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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