mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
