You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
