hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
