so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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