my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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