you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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