i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize
