If that was your dad, he is hot
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
