A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize