Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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