Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
