Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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