Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
