Porn is love you can see.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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