Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
