I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
