I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
