Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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