He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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