hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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