Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
barbara walters just said penis...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
