There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have feelings that need drinking.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
