So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
