Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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