how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
