Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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