Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
