final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
