My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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