Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
