Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize