dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
