Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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