Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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