We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
