ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
