dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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