Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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