why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
