He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
