some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
