In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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