she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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