the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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