That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
