i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
