The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
