also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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