As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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