They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
