Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
