I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
