i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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