That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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