Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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