____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
