Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
