we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
